Friday, October 26, 2012

Living a better story

God's been stirring something in me lately, in so many different ways. It appears when He asks me to dance. It shows up when He tells me my only job is to "bloom" like the wildflower I am.

This week, He spoke to me through one of my favorite bloggers, Sarah Bessey. She blogged about reacting vs creating. In case you didn't already know this, there are a few....ahem....people in the world....cough, cough....that aren't my biggest fans :) They are always going to be there. I've realized that I am called to live a life that is going to have some detractors. It's what happens when you're on the front lines and in the mess with others. There's no place I'd rather be. If God is calling me to live a life spent standing with those who others leave behind, spent fighting for injustice in so many forms, spent living an unconventional life with unconventional faith going places that others have no desire to go....well then, I'm going to have some critics. People like boxes and lines and laws. They like to say definitively what Jesus would and would not do. I'm tired of living that way :)

I'm tired of defending my life with Jesus. There are times when I wonder how I can best explain my heart to others. There are times when I want to scream and then invite people into my life and heart because maybe, just maybe if they really knew me, they'd understand. Maybe just maybe if they'd walked my journey they'd see Jesus where I see Him and move where I hear Him tell me to move. I wonder about defending myself with scriptures. I wonder at defending and clearly articulating my position on women, marriage, abuse, divorce, freedom, leadership, service, advice, etc. It's tiring because the truth is, some people don't want to know. People who want to criticize are going to criticize! They don't want to get to know me more and hear my heart. They aren't seeking to understand, so why am I offering explanation after explanation as if they are? All of this striving I do to keep peace and to want to make people understand is just striving. It doesn't help the kingdom.

Instead....I want to live a better story, my better story....the beautiful story that He is writing for me.

Sarah Bessey put it so beautifully here:
I long to Love, I long to offer grace, particularly to those struggling under their own new Laws, I long to worship, I’d rather write a better story than a point-by-point defense, and I long to really see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

As I read those words, the striving melted away from my shoulders. I felt peace. "This is it, Dear One," I heard Him whisper to my heart, "live a better story. Don't worry about them. Just live your story with me so beautifully that for the ones with listening ears and open eyes, they will see and know your heart because they will see me present. Just dance, don't apologize. Just love, don't explain. Just speak, no need to wait for permission. Just be you. Live this better, beautiful story that I have laid out and let all else fade away."

ahhhhhh. I plan on sinking into my better story. How about you? Do you find it hard to not want to react, explain or defend and just live the beautiful story He is writing for you?

1 comment:

  1. Amen.

    I find it easy to not react, explain, or defend. Mostly, it has been born out of "walking out of step" for some time...that many know not to ask me...hahah!