Friday, August 24, 2012

Dry bones dance

Post 1 of 2 on dancing.... This part is my story.

A few years ago, when I was first realizing how broken and wounded I was, I had a friend who would regularly say, "I can't wait to see you bloom. I can't wait to watch you heal. I want to see you dance." (not literally necessarily :-)

This friend's comments were probably inspired by the story of Ezekiel (in ez 37) when he was told to prophecy over dry bones in a vision. He is told to speak life over them and tell them to come back to life. Desperation Band turned this into a song "dry bones dance". I remember singing this over the past years with tears streaming down my face. Would I ever dance? Would I ever feel whole? My friend had believed that one day I would "bloom, blossom and dance"..... But some days it felt hopeless.

2 years later.... I feel whole. Sure there are parts of my life that lack, areas that sill ache, wounds still needing healing... Being a single mom is still hard and I still long for my partner in life.... But for the most part.... I feel whole. My counselor and I look for areas that need growth now instead of me coming in already in tears with 100 things to discuss. I feel peace. I feel loved. The lies have been replaced. I feel safe to be ME. I feel loved as me. I feel sure that Jesus made me unique for His purposes and I no longer despise that. I am me and I feel really really content in that.

And in Uganda.... I think I may have bloomed at bit :) for some strange reason, I think I kind of shine there. I felt like I was perfectly who I was supposed to be and perfectly living in His pleasure. I was doing what I was meant to do. Not only was I living in the healing freedom of what He had done in me, but I was watching Him once again use my wounds in the lives of others. It was amazing and such a moment of deep thankfulness for what He has done.

There was a time when I thought I'd lost Uganda....after a week with the 360 women already in our program (it'll be 450 within the month!), 1500-2000 women at the conference and knowing we are launching our program for another 2,700 women, my Ugandan friend reminded me of the night I called him in tears thinking I'd lost Uganda. Oh how Jesus might have smiled as I cried that, knowing that He was about to give me more than I could ever imagine.... More women and children, a deeper understanding of Suffering that would allow me to minister to not just their hungry bellies, but their hurting hearts. Oh He had some dancing planned even when I was lying in the dirt feeling like I was just made up of dry bones.

Last week when I saw a few of these pictures of me dancing, those memories and that song came back to me. "Dry bones.... Dance"

And they did.

These dry bones danced and danced and danced.

If you feel like you are so broken that you'll never dance again..... I know that feeling.... And let me tell you again, I danced. And you will too. Just keep seeking His face for healing. Healing will come.... And one day, your dry bones will dance.

These dry bones danced.

I danced.
I bloomed.

And I don't plan on stopping :)

1 comment:

  1. I'm just in tears as I read this post, my dear, precious friend. I'm lost for words as I just pray a prayer of thanks for the honor of doing life with you even from hundreds of miles away. This blooming you're talking about - I have seen it right before my very eyes. And I anticipate more and more of it. My heart truly leaps when I see pictures of your in the Land that you Love. Joy. I just see the pureness of joy and it's overwhelming and it's one of the most beautiful things I can think of. Thank you for sharing this post...for sharing your stories with the world of blog readers...for sharing your life with me and so many others. I hope that one day you get to see all lined up all the people whose lives you have impacted...that line is going to be looooooooooong, girl. And it just keeps growing every day. I'm so blessed to know you and share in this crazy life with you. I'm full of thanks for you.