I even do this in Krav Maga. (Israeli Hand to Hand Combat). If we are really fighting and sparring, I ALWAYS ask Jake to please turn on the best music. I need it inside of my head to gear me up to be able to fight.
This blog post is my fight music. This is me, psyching myself up for a battle.
Yesterday, I wrote about it being ok that I would get "shot at" (metaphorically speaking)....but the truth is, a lot of times I forget that. I forget that I'm in a battle. I forget that if you are on the frontlines of battles for freedom, you are going to be shot at.
I don't know what you think about spiritual battles, but I believe them to be absolutely true. I have seen them firsthand. In fact, recently, I was praying with a friend through some of the worst trauma she has experienced....Jesus was breaking down the chains of injustice in her life in HUGE ways. All of a sudden, she pulled back from me with a horrified expression on her face. Visibly shaken, with tears rolling down her face, she apologized and said that all of a sudden, as we were praying, she heard a voice tell her to punch me in the face. Battle? Yep. I believe whole heartedly that the battle to freedom is an absolute battle. I believe there is an enemy of our souls who desires to see us live in chains of oppression and believe horrible lies about ourselves.
Because I am regularly walking with women who are in this battle for freedom, I think I might not be the enemy's favorite person :) Add to that this upcoming Uganda trip and things have been ROUGH around here! This should make me excited because I'm guessing that God might have some MAJOR plans for our sweet Ugandan mamas while we are there. I see healing coming to their precious, traumatized hearts. I see mamas who will be able to feed their families. I see hurting women hearing the TRUTH about who they are. I see the oppressed being set free all around me.
So of course....things are getting rough. Sometimes it's big things like losing my phone last week and then damaging a new one this week (through no fault of mine!). Those seem like nothing - but I don't want to pay $200 to fix a phone while I'm trying to raise $10,000 for the women of Uganda! Sometimes it comes in new people not liking me....in case you are wondering, I'm not super popular with abusive men either :) Sometimes it's a trigger for me to fall back into pain because of people or situations of my past. Sometimes it's just waking up sad. More doubt than usual. More pain than usual. More longing even than usual. I have had trouble sleeping and have been waking up with a hurting heart this week. I'm exhausted and each day seems like a struggle for some reason or another......
So this is my psych myself up blog. To say to myself, "yeah Brandi it's hard....but that's BECAUSE it's worth it. That's the enemy. Are you going to let him win? Is $200 really a big deal to your God? Is $10,000 more than HE has? Are you going to listen to those lies? Do you really believe that about YOU anymore? You KNOW the truth. You know the promises God has given to your heart. Hold tight. He WILL COME THROUGH. This is HIS. You are HIS. The women who have been abused are HIS. The Ugandan women are HIS. The Indian girls you want to see rescued are HIS. He IS big enough for all of this" Do you see me jumping around? Psyching myself up? Listening to some fist pumping fight music?
Whatevs, enemy. You will not win this girl. I have already been set free. I am called to walk others to freedom. Get out of my way. Leave me alone. No matter what you do - I'm not falling for it. I will still serve. I will still praise. I will still go. I hate to break it to you, but I know the end of this story and psssst....you don't win. My God wins.
Want to battle with me? For the girls I walk with? For the women in Uganda? For the girls in India who need rescuing? For me?
No comments:
Post a Comment