Monday, September 24, 2012


At about the 100th time that one of my kids tells me that their boo boo hurts, I sometimes get annoyed. There. I said it. My patience is not infinite. I get overwhelmed sometimes by the complexities of my children's needs. I get annoyed at times by the frequency of them.

It is here, in my inadequacies as a mom that the analogy of God as a parent falls short. Because God is like our parent...but not like us....thankfully :)

He NEVER gets annoyed at my pain. Never.

Sometimes I have to be reminded of this truth.

Sometimes I think I need to hide.

When the pain hits....again. When the same ache takes my breath away that took my breath away almost 2 years ago...when I hurt again in the same way. I begin to think hiding is my only option.

In fact, when pain hits so hard that I feel the need to reach out to another, I will often find myself asking 'who did I confide in yesterday?" Needing or wanting to protect others from my pain. Surely, they are annoyed? Surely they are thinking "Seriously, Bran? Get over it already....Move on. Pick yourself up." Surely Jesus must think the same thing? Surely He must think "I've spoken to you about this. I have spoken hope. Live in it. Stop hurting so much" or "seriously? you are crying about this AGAIN?"

but no....



That is not what my Jesus thinks. Nope. He always wants to hear my heart. He knows already....and He is already desiring to hold my heart here. When I DO go to Him, I often hear Him whisper "I know it hurts sweet b, I know and I'm sorry" He holds my heart there. He whispers again the hope and the life and beauty He has promised me. He tells me that this mountain does have a peak. He tells me that high places are just ahead. He lets me cry. A lot if need be. Even if I had just cried a few hours before. He tells me that my pain is valid. He whispers through groans that I wasn't supposed to be treated that way or that of course I miss that person or that He knows this or that is hard and painful. And then He goes back to speaking sweet truth and helping me stand to walk again.

So today....if your heart's ok. He STILL has compassion on your pain. He hasn't tired of listening to you cry. He isn't annoyed by the fact that all is not always sunshine and butterflies in your heart. He is pleased to sit with you in your pain and hold you there.

He wants YOU. the good. the bad. the hard. the ugly. the painful.  he loves being in relationship with you. And pain...the bad times....they make the good times all that much better and more filled with depth.

So crawl up into His lap today if you need to. ....(I'll scooch over if need be, since I'm already up in His lap :)....and let the intimacy that comes from sharing tears be yours....

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